Precisely why We Love Cats — Family Systems Theory


Doctor Murray Bowen invented exactly what has come to be known as “Bowen Theory” or Family Techniques Theory. Dr . Rabbi Friedman put Bowen’s theory to operate for rabbis, pastors along with other religious professions in Era to Generation and his posthumous work Failure of Neural.

This theory of family members’ behavior is based on several crucial concepts about why individuals act like they do in organizations, not based on mechanistic functions but on how people within groups act emotionally. This particular theory thinks in terms of psychological processes and not in hierarchies or intellectual terms.

This short article examines why most people really like cats as a means to explain a number of the main ideas in Murray Bowen’s theory of Along with Societal Systems.

We irrationally love cats–those of us who else does. Those who hate pet cats hate them irrationally. Precisely why all the emotions about kitties? Because they expose the truth about man’s emotional systems by launching catlike emotional behavior!

Typically the cat, any cat, presented into the human emotional technique, will cause the human emotional technique to rearrange. Not for the reason, that cat does anything but as a consequence of how the cat is sentimental.

1 . Cats Tend to Be Sentimentally Self-Differentiated

Self-differentiation is the aim and high water draw of maturity for the Bowen Theory. Cats have it.

That they know what they like. That they know who they are similar to. They know what they will and definitely will not do and will not be trained. They have not wanted to win approval but seek out emotional support (petting) if they want it and from which they want it.

Most individuals call this independence or maybe detachment. It is really the position involving self-differentiation which we all would like. We admire cats’ focus on being able to be aloof and standoffish. What we truly admire is usually their ability to shamelessly self-differentiate.

Those who hate cats probably are uncomfortable with some others who refuse to participate in emotive hubbub in the human technique too.

2 . Cats Never Accept Anxiety from Some others

When there is “drama” between people, cats usually run off or even keep out of the fray by hissing and going into fend-off defensive mode until they are able to escape. Cats refuse to acknowledge anxiety from others.

They might choose to purr around you if you are upset, but that, everyone knows, is pure coincidence. Pet cats take care of their own emotional stress. They do not ask for help. They battle their own fights and never strive to recruit the “gang” or even “herd” effect as people do.

3. Cats Have discovered a Perfect Balance Between Nearness and Distance

Cats in no way become so attached which they cannot do without a person but never so far away that they don’t look for you once you have been gone a while.

They have got found the perfect balance associated with distance and closeness which humans rarely find. Almost all humans become so alongside each other they fuse sometimes by loving or preventing. Or humans distance via each other in response to anxiety as a result keeping the fusion on a long-distance level.

Not cats.

For anyone who is gone a year or 1 hour, it makes no difference. They might react the same to your go back in predictable patterns. Typically the longer you are gone typically the less they may react on your own return.

Most humans esteem the boundaries of a people much more than the emotional restrictions of other humans!

some. Cats Are Distant nevertheless Connected

They never “leave” the system. They do their own issue and then, suddenly, it seems, they might arrive at the emotional technique with purring and a need to be petted on their own terms. Try and coax them and you will merely get disdain and disinterest. Try to stop them if they WANT strokes and you will really need to get out a broom.

5. Kitties Learn This Behavior Via Parents

While kittens, that they show no self-differentiation with the exception of when they will pitilessly hide the runt out of the way to have the last suck of milk products even though the runt may be famished to death.

Cats are generally social animals like individuals, but even the mother is actually self-differentiated. She feeds whenever she feels like it as well as defends the litter in case she is in the mood.

People are fascinated by this closeness/distance balance but we appreciate it too.

The cats learn it from their moms and dads. The father stands aside as a sometimes protector from the litter and the mother attends to the little ones without requesting a thing more from the dad.

If a kitten acts upward, the mother never threatens the actual kittens with the return or even retribution of the father: the girl does the swatting herself.

six. Cats May Feel Anxiousness During Times of Change however they Handle Their Own – They cannot Triangle

In Bowen’s concept, humans are always a triangle. All of us cannot handle the common worries of life and so all of us seek out someone to share our own anxiety. The anxiety producer–whether it is a situation or an individual or a pressure–is always the 3rd person in the triangle.

Pet cats do NOT do this. They manage their own anxiety like the older leader of a lion Satisfaction. When the young lion has difficulties the Pride leader the best may put up an etiquette fight but handles the actual anxiety. He does not strive to share the anxiety with anyone. He goes off into the distance and watches the actual Pride move on without your pet.

Humans admire this as well as fear it at the same time. Someone that is self-differentiated is terrifying to those who are not. The reason behind this is that humans tend to be the herding species, especially when there is certainly change or upset within the “normal” way anxiety is actually handled in the system.

8. Cats Feed on Herds That they Never Form Herds

Kitties eat from panicked herds. They do not form herds. That they form Prides. Even the brand suggests independence and beneficial attributes.

When humans expertise anxiety, they tend to crowd together to expel typically the anxiety by attacking the idea of running from it as an alternative to dealing with it.

For instance, imagine the distasteful images in the television documentaries of also eating water buffalo or maybe gazelles. Notice, that if the crowd suddenly turned on the kittens and cats, the cats would drop. Even if several, maybe simply a handful, of the thousands-of-pounds critters turned on the cats, the particular limber but vulnerable-to-stomping kittens and cats would flee in panic attacks.

Herds “group think” and also panic. They run coming from anxiety or mindlessly strike each other trying to find the panic-making culprit, but they rarely strike the real predator which has been following them for days.

They neglect to see the real danger: the particular cat in the room.

8. Kittens and cats Can Switch Pride According to Their Own Self-Interest

Cats go from owner to operator, Pride to Pride, not having a loss of self-differentiation. Give someone away and it will adapt promptly to the new situation given it was not emotionally fused together with the last one!

Humans could experience this as selfishness on the part of the cat as well as self-absorption. In fact, it is some emotional adaptation. Some felines will leave one residence and adopt another having seemingly no regrets if your new situation is in the welfare of the cat. And someone knows.

Selfishness and self-differentiation are not the same and cats often understand this. Cats are not egoistic. They share when they attempt to share. They show kindness when they want to and not after they ought to.

They don’t NEED mankind. They can hunt if they have to help. If they do choose to hunt, they often bring the poor beast to the humans to supplement often the foodstuffs the humans acquire from God knows everywhere.

9. Cats Can Perform like Kittens if They Feel Like It

Felines can, delightfully, from time to time all of the sudden act like a kitten! –Playing with balls and performing after laser lights going from a human penlight. Felines can regress when they sense being playful or curious.

This specific ability to regress is not a mental weakness but the willingness to get emotionally open when they want to. There is the key: when they want to.

Their unpredictability is charming to most humans. Some human beings hate cats. They usually are needy enough. They don’t merge. They are worthless anxiety pain. An angry human may possibly kick a dog and the doggy will cower. Kick the cat and see what happens. They will not reveal your anxiety.


These are generally only a few reasons why humans adore cats. They reflect the particular emotional health described inside Bowen’s Family System Principle and this causes a great split among humans.

Some dislike cats for the same reason some individuals dislike self-differentiated people. Similar to a cat, a self-differentiated particular person cannot be emotionally manipulated, would not fall easily into triangulation, and seems uncaring and also selfish to someone who will be begging for a partner inside anxiety.

Some humans dislike this.

They want herd users who will feel sorry for them, propagate the anxiety, start a panic attack and head off in strike or flight from a hidden and unknown enemy.

The particular sad truth is that self-differentiated people tend to hang collectively and watch from a distance the unusual behaviors of the herds under. Emotionally non-self-differentiated people have a tendency to hang together too. They have a tendency to herd together, function the anxieties of the poorest members of the herd, and also seek togetherness and arrangement over anything else.

It would be smart to remember this: cats eat herds; herds run coming from cats.

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